Bad Jokes: 110 Terrible, Corny & Groan-Worthy Jokes (Ranked by Groan Level)

Quick Answer

Bad jokes are deliberately terrible: predictable puns, painful wordplay, and punchlines that make people groan, then laugh anyway.

This page has 110 bad jokes ranked on our Groan Meter, from a mild wince (Level 1) to “leave the room” (Level 5), plus the worst jokes of all time, weird jokes, anti-jokes (“not funny” jokes), jokes by topic, and bad jokes for adults that are safe for work. If you want simpler and sillier humor, see our stupid jokes.

What Makes a Joke “Bad”?

A bad joke usually has one of these traits:

• A painfully obvious pun. The wordplay is so easy you see it coming.
• A groan-first punchline. The reaction is “oh no” before it’s “ha.”
• A lazy or too-literal answer. The joke refuses to work for the laugh.
• A straight-faced delivery. The more seriously it’s said, the worse (and better) it lands.

Bad jokes vs. stupid jokes vs. dad jokes: Bad jokes are built on terrible wordplay and are meant to be groaned at. Stupid jokes are simpler and silly. Dad jokes are clean, wholesome and delivered with confidence. They overlap, but each has its own flavor.

The Groan Meter

Every joke below is sorted by how loud the groan should be.

Level 1: A Mild Wince

1. I tried to write a joke about sleep, but it kept dozing off.
2. Why did the pencil retire? It lost its point.
3. I bought a ladder. It’s a step up.
4. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
5. What’s a bee’s favorite hairstyle? A buzz cut.
6. Why did the spoon get promoted? It stirred up great results.
7. I told a joke about glue. It really stuck with me.
8. I used to work at a candle factory, but I got burned out.
9. Why was the rug nervous? It felt like people were walking all over it.
10. I asked the librarian for a book on turtles. She said, “Take your time.”
11. Why did the phone wear glasses? It lost its contacts.
12. What kind of plane never leaves the ground? A plain one.
13. I’m reading a book about mazes. I keep getting lost in it.
14. Why did the notebook go to therapy? It had too many unresolved pages.
15. What’s a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer.

Level 2: An Eye Roll

16. I’d tell you a joke about the pavement, but it’s a little too concrete.
17. Why did the lightbulb fail its test? It wasn’t very bright.
18. I got a job at a calendar factory. They fired me for taking a day off.
19. Why do magicians make great spies? They’re good at disappearing acts.
20. I tried to fold a map, but it got creased up about it.
21. Why did the chair break up with the table? It needed more space.
22. What’s the best thing about a round table? You can’t corner anyone.
23. I wanted to be a gardener, but I couldn’t find my roots.
24. I bought a vacuum cleaner. It really sucks, but I love it.
25. Why didn’t the sun go to college? It already had a million degrees.
26. Why do ducks make good detectives? They always quack the case.
27. I started a business selling mirrors. I can see it going well.
28. Why was the keyboard so tired? It had too many shifts.
29. I used to be a tailor, but I wasn’t suited for it.
30. Why was the calendar so popular? It had a lot of dates.

Level 3: A Loud Groan

31. Why can’t you trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
32. I entered a staring contest with a mirror. We both lost.
33. My elevator jokes have their ups and downs.
34. I asked my dictionary for a joke. It said, “Look it up.”
35. I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
36. I tried to eat a clock once. It was very time-consuming.
37. The restaurant on the moon had great food but no atmosphere.
38. I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.
39. What’s a vampire’s favorite sport? Bat-minton.
40. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
41. Why do melons have big weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
42. I was going to tell a time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it yet.
43. I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
44. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
45. Why was the broom the best listener? It knew how to sweep everything under the rug.

Level 4: Put the Phone Down

46. I used to hate math, but now I really enjoy it. It just took a little time to add up.
47. I tried to build a clock out of cheese. It was a little gouda, but the time was off.
48. I bought a belt that was too tight. It was a waist of money.
49. I told a joke about the number zero. It had no point.
50. A pencil and an eraser went to couples therapy. The pencil said, “You always wipe me out.” The eraser said, “You always make a mark.”
51. My doctor told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
52. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
53. Why did the bakery close? It couldn’t make enough dough.
54. I can’t believe I forgot the punchline. Oh well, it’s the thought that counts.
55. The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
56. What did the sushi say to the bee? “Wasabi!”
57. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

Level 5: Leave the Room

58. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
59. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He just couldn’t see himself doing it.
60. I quit my job at the cereal factory. I was tired of the daily grind.
61. Why was the cell phone upset? It had too many missed calls.
62. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
63. Why was the guitar arrested? It was caught strumming up trouble.
64. I wanted to be a baker, but my career never rose.
65. Why do pasta chefs love puns? They’re always looking for a good penne-ant.
66. Why was the math teacher late? She took the rhombus.
67. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? I don’t know. Do you?

Terrible One-Liners

Short, sharp and made for a text.

68. I’m fluent in sarcasm, but my pun skills are my second language.
69. Never trust atoms. They make up everything, including the worst jokes.
70. I got a new pair of glasses. Now I can see right through my own jokes.
71. My joke is like a boomerang. It always comes back, and I always regret it.
72. Parallel parking is my least favorite kind of math.
73. I’d offer you a cup of tea, but I’m afraid you might leaf.
74. The best part of a bad joke is the silence afterward.
75. My watch broke, and I don’t have the time.
76. I wanted to become a stand-up comedian, but my jokes kept falling flat.
77. A bad pun is its own reword.
78. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you.
79. My therapist says I have a problem with puns. I said, “I’ll think about it. Probably not.”

Worst Jokes of All Time (Anti-Jokes and “Not Funny” Jokes)

Anti-jokes set up a joke and then deliver something plain. The disappointment is the joke.

80. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
81. A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
82. What do you get when you drop a cup of coffee? Wet shoes.
83. What’s the opposite of a joke? A serious statement.
84. What do you call a sandwich with no filling? A sad-wich.
85. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nobody. They left.
86. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut. (Don’t try this.)
87. A bear, a fox and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” The duck says, “No, I’m just thirsty.”
88. I have a joke about a long wait, but you’ll get to it later.
89. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? “Ouch.”

Weird and Ridiculous Jokes

Absurd humor that makes no sense on purpose.

90. A cloud walks into a library and asks for a book on how to rain. The librarian says, “That’s a downpour of information.”
91. I told my houseplant about my day. It said nothing, but I could tell it had been through something similar.
92. Why do bananas wear sunglasses? Because the apple wouldn’t stop looking at them.
93. A sock and a shoe met at a party. The sock said, “You complete me.” The shoe said, “I’m only here for the free parking.”
94. Why did the toaster apply for a job? It heard they needed someone who could rise to the occasion.
95. A turtle crossed the road and was told, “You’re a little slow.” The turtle said, “It’s not me, it’s the road.”
96. Why did the staircase get a job at the bank? It knew how to handle ups and downs.
97. I once dated a lamp. She was bright, but we didn’t have a lot of chemistry.
98. The refrigerator told me a joke. I thought it was cool, but I didn’t laugh. It said, “I’m freezing you out.”

Bad Jokes by Topic

Animal Bad Jokes

99. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
100. What do you call a pig that does the laundry? A hog on the wash.
101. Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net.

Food Bad Jokes

102. Why did the cheese refuse to dance? It was too cheesy.
103. I made a pun about bread, but it was a little stale.
104. What do you call a fake sandwich? A pretender-wich.

Work Bad Jokes

105. My boss told me to “think outside the box.” So I took a lunch break outside.
106. I love meetings. They’re a great way to practice nodding.
107. I asked for a raise. My boss said, “Let’s circle back.” I’m still circling.

Family Bad Jokes

108. My dad’s idea of a joke is leaving the same pun on the fridge every day.
109. My mom says I’m her favorite child. She also said that to my brother, so we compare notes.

Tech Bad Jokes

110. Why did the smartphone go to therapy? It had too many unresolved notifications.

Bad Jokes That Are Actually Funny

The best bad jokes are the ones where the setup is smart and the punchline is shameless. These have the best “okay, I laughed” ratio.

• I lost my job at the helium plant. I wasn’t taken seriously. It was a high-pitched argument.
• I tried to tell a joke about wind, but it just blew over.
• A snail goes to buy a car and says, “I’d like one with an S on the side.” The salesman asks why. The snail says, “So people say, ‘Look at that S-car go.'”
• I was going to give you a joke about a broken pencil, but there’s no point.

Bad Jokes for Adults (Work-Safe)

Relatable adult-life jokes with no crude humor.

• I’m not procrastinating. I’m putting my future self to the test.
• My bank account and I have a lot in common. Neither of us expected this month.
• I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise. He asked, “Which ones?” I said, “Gas, electric and water.”
• I wanted to start a savings account, but my wallet filed for separation.
• My Wi-Fi password is the only secret I’m good at keeping.
• Adulthood is just deciding which tab to close first.

How to Tell a Bad Joke (So It Lands)?

1. Commit to the pun. Don’t apologize halfway through.
2. Keep a straight face. The more serious you are, the funnier it gets.
3. Pause before the punchline. A one-second silence makes the groan louder.
4. Don’t explain it. If you explain, the joke is dead.
5. Accept the groan. A groan is applause for a bad joke.
6. Know your crowd. Level 1 and 2 jokes are safe for most people. Save Levels 4 and 5 for friends who enjoy suffering.

When to Tell a Bad Joke?

• Icebreakers: a quick Level 1 joke softens any room.
• Dinner tables: a groaner turns a quiet meal into a conversation.
• Group chats: one-liners work best.
• Road trips: a “worst pun” contest passes the miles.
• Awkward silences: nothing breaks them like a terrible joke.

Why Do We Love Bad Jokes?

Humor researchers have a theory that explains why bad jokes work: the “benign violation” idea, which says things are funny when they seem wrong or off but are also safe and harmless. A bad pun breaks the rules of language (the violation) without hurting anyone (benign), so you groan and laugh at the same time.

Bad jokes also create a shared moment. Everyone groans together, and that tiny bit of group suffering makes people feel closer.

More Jokes to Try!

If you enjoyed these, try our dad jokes, punny jokes, one-liner jokes and super funny jokes.

FAQs

What are bad jokes?

Bad jokes are deliberately terrible jokes, usually puns or predictable setups, that make people groan before they laugh.

What are some bad jokes to tell?

Start with a Level 1 or 2 joke like “I tried to write a joke about sleep, but it kept dozing off.” They’re safe for almost any crowd.

What is the worst joke of all time?

There’s no single winner, but anti-jokes like “A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink” are strong contenders because they refuse to deliver a punchline.

What are terrible jokes that are actually funny?

The ones with a clever setup and a shameless punchline. See “Bad Jokes That Are Actually Funny” above.

What are weird jokes?

Absurd jokes that make no logical sense on purpose, like a toaster applying for a job.

What are bad jokes for adults?

Work-safe jokes about bills, meetings and procrastination. See the adult section.

What’s the difference between bad jokes and stupid jokes?

Bad jokes lean on terrible wordplay and are meant to be groaned at. Stupid jokes are simpler and sillier. See our stupid jokes page for that style.

Why do people like bad jokes?

They’re easy to understand, harmless and create a shared groan that brings people together.